I had wrote some time back that I had decided not to worry about marriage--cast it out of my mind and just focus on God's current calling for my life. It is when we place our trust in Him that he prepares the way for us. Throughout my Christian life, time and time again I found that when I placed trust in myself things would go wrong but when I placed trust in Him everything fell into place. He would know exactly what I needed and when I needed it. His wisdom and timing are perfect when we submit to Him.
I decided to trust in God. And he brought me Kostya. I could go on and on about how compatible we are but I'll keep that between him and me so I don't make u sick. ;) But all in all what matters most is our united heart to serve God and to fight for things of eternal value not worldly value.
When he first asked me to marry him 8 months ago; immediately after (15-20 minutes later), a girl, Jen Shang told me. "I had a dream about you. You were getting married, and all I remember was that it was a rush."
I wasn't even thinking about marriage at the time; it had felt like some foreign custom that I had heard of others once doing. I was shocked at the time. I didn't know what to think. I asked Kostya to pretend he hadn't proposed yet-- and to see where our relationship goes first. I didn't want to trust in a dream.
After this I was praying more about marriage. What was god's will for my life? I talked to a married lady from my church about relationships and marriage. She mentioned how she never used to think about praying for marriage while she was single. But a pastor had challenged her to and soon after God had prepared her a husband. She challenged me to pray hard about it.
I prayed hard. I was confused. I didn't feel or hear anything.
Maybe the reason i was in the relationship to begin with wasn't right. I knew Kostya was in it initially because marriage, but I was in it--maybe because of emotions. We didn't know where we were headed.
Kostya and I "broke up".
Then I felt it. I felt the need to be purely satisfied in Christ. I felt the blessing of Christ alone. And I felt for the first time that I was ready for marriage. And I prayed, "God, I see Kostya and I serving together. If it's in your plan, he will propose again and I will say yes."
Our story:
In 2007 I met Kostya. We both came to China as teachers and ran into each other before our school's orientation. We hung out together with some other friends and in bible studies.
(kostya and I in 2007, fresh off the boat in Shanghai)
In 2008 our friendship grew deeper. I remember going to his apartment every other night in the winter of 2008 to use his Internet--and I wanted to procrastinate resubscription of my own internet so I could continue to have an excuse to see him. He would pour me a cup of tea (with jam!) and we would talk. hehehe.
The moments I began to like him more was when I saw him sharing Jsus -- opening his home to random people -- starting groups to teach English to ppl. I was definitely inspired by his hospitality to do likewise in my ministry.
He invited me to help shop for his mother preceding his trip to see his family in Russia. I saw his unselfish love for his family. I remember that night we had talked in Starbucks until they kicked us out to close up shop.
That winter we went to Nanjing together. Train ride, a lot of walking, the wall, boat ride hehehe, did we play phoosball at the hostel?, massacre museum, light saber wars, fun memories. 
(us in 2008, 1st trip to Nanjing)
In 2009, I would text Kostya to tell him I'd be leading worship on Sunday and...while worshipping I would look for his face in the crowd.
Then he joined my worship team as the drummer! And we would ride to church together on his electric moped.
Whenever I had music gigs and performances Kostya would support me. That year we played together at a concert at Cloud 9 Shopping Mall and a different charity event. :) When mamatown coffee shop opened, we were playing there regularly.
(winter 2009/2010 nicky, me, kostya at mamatown)
Then Christmas 2010 he came to new york and Boston. Where we had our little drama and resolution. I learned about better communication; I also learned about how to be more aware of how I attend to people. Though, people often only talk about the positives and highlights of going into marriage, I believe it's in the little dramas where you draw closer to each other. You learn more about each other. You learn how to work it out and trust in God to bind you together.
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