fearless.

[thoughts.]
i do not care what peope think. i will not think about whether or not they think i'm crazy or ridiculous. i will not shy away because they might think i'm younger, less experienced, less knowledgeble. i will not let the fear of what other people think get in the way of doing kind acts. i will do. i will do. i will do and not think. not fear.

I need to rant these things to myself enough so that they become my reality. Evidentally, I am in constant fear of what people might think, but I have decided not to let these get to me. I will will myself to not think illy of something I've done that is good.

All my life has been a reactive opinionless sway to other's thoughts and opinions. "I don't care, whatever you want is what I want." Gah, other people must get so frustrated with me...the lack of confience, the over-indecisivness. It's frustrating to look at me from an outward perspective. I need confidence in my own opinion, in my own abilities, in what I have to say. Come on, steph. You're capable.

I've been trying to take this fearless concept in my ministries, and that's been tough as well. Tell them about faith and not care if they think you're crazy. Sometimes I fear awkwardness--but once again I need to tell myself. Do it. Don't care about what they think. Do what's right--that's all that matters. Don't tell the easy happy things, tell the true real things.

Fear can be a healthy thing, it can drive you to do the right things...but fear can be an unhealthy thing when it prevents you from doing the right things.