resolve.

[thoughts].
I have gathered the resolve to finally make some change, set some goals, and be proactive about the direction of my life. There's something dangerous about being comfortable--it's the feeling of apathetic satisfaction, feeling okay with the constant habit of life. I've said this before, but I need to repeat it to myself. I will not live life like a habit!

I had fallen into my air-headed state-of-being for such a long time and now I'm determined to get out of it. Gosh, so many people in this world don't realize just how much they are capable of. We're born with abilities, and the mere ability to develop abilities. We're blessed with talents, hands and a mouth that speaks. These things should not lay idle. I'm always afraid that my talents aren't good enough--but life is not meant to be lived in fear. Muscles are meant to be strained whether or not they begin weak.

I've been listening to John Elderidge every morning. He's always using allusions of life being a spiritual battle--not just any little fight but a full-fledged war. Sometimes I shrug off his metaphors as being overly hyperbolic...but perhaps there's a lot of truth to what he describes. Sometimes by being so passive I've feel as if I'm the wimp sitting on my sword waving a white flag. But today...I was inspired. I was praying and it just came to me.

I need to be more daring, take risks, strive for more.

so i've been thinking of some ideas for new year's resolutions:

health--cook and eat fruits and veggies
train for great wall marathon
beauty--dress well, wash hair, and look presentable everyday
spirituality--spend time being still and in prayer, read the bible, journal, share testimonies with friends
music--write some songs, find a way to perform, make some videos to work on polishing playing
chinese--study and finish the book i've been using for a year now
random--clean my apartment at least once a week
friendship--be a good friend. call ppl. ask them about their walk with god. encourage them.
youthgroup--be a good counselor. call youth. ask about their walks with god. encourage them.