addiction.

[thoughts.]
I confess. I'm addicted.

Last Tuesday night I was lonely and bored, so I took a walk outside to get some air. I strided around the corner down the busy sketch-alley and stopped by the convenient store to buy a bottle of water.
Sipping water and walking down Guan Lan Road I glaced over at the stash of illegal DVD's being sold and pretended to be disinterested. My conscience got to me--and it wasn't the idea of buying an illegal DVD that made me walk away, but the thought of spending money on a movie that I could watch online for free.

Crossing the street, walking ever so slowly, I came across the man in the jean jacket. And that's when I saw them.

I picked one up, and asked how much one cost. He told me I had to buy all four. I felt torn. Do I get all four? With hesitation in my eyes I asked how much that'd cost. He thought for a moment and told me "100 kuai."

"I don't have 100 kuai with me," I told him--but in my American-accented Chinese.

"Pay me later. You can have it now."

"Hao a."

So I walked off with all four.

I have no life now. For the last three days since I bought the set, I've been sneaking them to work and reading between my page loads, between my lunch break, while I walk from place to place, I fall asleep reading them, and read right when I wake up.

Some call it obsession, some call it addiction.

But I know, it will soon be over.

It's strange how I go through these addictions. And sometimes it's embarassing. It's embarassing that I'm addicted to the Twighlight Saga, and how they're a set of books about vampires. When I first heard my co-worker talking about the series, I wanted to snicker. Now look who's addicted.

The thing that draws me in is the way the main character seems to relate to me--as she does to most females. It's so raw, honest, transparent, and it just echoes memories of personal experiences.

I envy Bella. Silly, I know. She's just a fictional character. I envy her candidness, her bravery, and as all girls secretly do but are embarssed to admit...(shhh) her true love. (gag) yes i know. (gag again)

But it's fiction.

So fellow hopeless romantics, we continue to dwell in our fantasies through our books, movies, and drama series, knowing, as a realist, that life may hold quite large disappointments.