faith.

[thoughts]
I've been struggling. A constant fight wars in my mind--me against myself. It's not so much a split personality so much as a split conscience...yet sometimes it's more than just a clear-cut right versus wrong.

Do I really know myself enough to make the right decisions? Do I know what I want, what I need?

Desires are meant to be filled, but they can be fulfilled in right or wrong ways.

I find myself on the verge of an action, determined--and in seconds I take back all my determination to hide in the safety of having not done.

Hiding is easier than the act of going out and figuring/chosing right over wrong.

How do we find God's will for our lives? If seeking puts you face to face with harder trials and struggles, it's easier to not attempt.

But that's stupid isn't it?

I'm having issues...

I know I'm being mysteriously unclear...but in jist...I fear certain experiences.

God, I pray for faith and wisdom.