Fate, destiny, divine planning, or an overly ideal excuse to believe that things will work out no matter what?

perfectionist syndrome.

I pretend to take it alright, but inside my heart is racing and I want to cry and cuss.

I will change. I always do. I do because I need to prove myself. I need to prove that I can be perfect that I can be excellent and that I can be better than everyone else.

Sometimes I don't take criticism well.

I think I can argue in favor of myself but I don’t

I hate being misunderstood or mistaken. It tears the pride from me. I need to hold on to my pride. I need to hold on to the fact that I’m good enough.

All the praise seems to be erased from my memory because that’s what you tell failure students to encourage them. “You’re doing much better, but…”

You say it to be encouraging but you really think little of them.

My heart is raging.

It's as if I can't deal with knowing thinking people think less of me.

Even if I know it's not true, I can't stand that people think that I am any less than perfect.