[an introduction]
Writing, so often, is a baring of self to others and is quite frightening. In fact, it's often embarassing. I look back at past thoughts and verses and it's unbearably embarassing. How much thought should I really put into each word, each sentence, each paragraph? What will people see in these words? Are they lines and curves blending in monotonous formations? Or are they, clichely put, windows to the soul. Can people see between the black font and past the white space? Can people see the girl typing at the keyboard, unsure of self and unsure of motives but needing to vomit these formations. Do they see her; do they judge her? Even now I fear the potential of these words being stamped 'cheesy.' Why is the need, within, so strong to bring thoughts into letters, sentences, entries?
I want to write, and I need to write so badly right now. And gosh, I'm being so overly dramatic. I'm in a mode.
I've gone through and deleted entries that made me ashamed and embarassed and want to start clean. I want these writings to be me, not me pretending to be different personas. I want these writings to include my faith, include my fears, include my strengths, and include my weaknesses.
Evidently, if you can't tell by my overly-dramatic tone, I've been highly influenced by the countless hours of Asian dramas I've been watching. I am cheese incarnate.
